Rules of Attraction
by Serenity2012
Summary: "Lisbon," he started, then shook his head, as if he was trying to work up the courage to do something, "Teresa- Can you look me in the eyes, and tell me that Hightower was just making stuff up? That we're 'just friends?"


**Author's Notes: It doesn't take a Mentalist to see that I don't own Jane. He's Lisbon's- and, I guess, the whole team belongs to CBS.**

**First time Mentalist fanfic! Hope you enjoy!**

**Summary: Jane's eyes were hot on my face, and I knew that he didn't believe me any more than I believed myself.**_** So this is how things are, **_**I gulped, **_**What have I gotten myself into?**_

Day One:

I heard Hightower before I saw her. The sound of her high-heels resounded against the wooden floors of the office building like gun-shots fired from point-blank range. Or maybe, that was just the dread her arrival usually inspired in my team.

It had been almost six months since she's taken over Minelli's job, and still I wasn't comfortable having her around. It wasn't just that the old boss was friendlier, that his eyes held some sort of warmth and satisfaction when he thought about the job he was doing- it was that Hightower, for all her strength and calm when it came to high pressure situations, still saw people as chess pieces, as players that could be sacrificed for the sake of efficiency.

That was almost certainly why she was here now. Straightening up a few papers on my desk, so as not to appear over-anxious, I waited until she had announced herself before lifting my head to meet her eyes. They were deep brown- not as probing as Jane's eyes sometimes were- but they weren't giving anything away either. "Mrs. Hightower?" I asked, careful to keep my tone neutral, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"That depends," she glanced once at the floor, then back at my face, "Are you going to tell me what's going on here?"

I stood there for a moment, racking my brains. Things had been pretty calm the last couple of days. We'd solved a minor homicide case down by the Bay Area, but I didn't see what about the arrest could have annoyed her. I guess the confusion must have been pretty obvious on my face, because she turned away from the door a moment to stick her head out to the bullpen, "Jane!" she called, "Get in here. Now."

She looked at me, pertly, while she waited for Jane to join us. All at once, I felt a sinking sensation in my gut. Despite his promises that he would always be there to save me, I sometimes wondered if he knew the effect he had on people. He unearthed their secrets, made all their insecurities come bubbling to the surface, and it took knowing him a lot better to realize that he could bring out the good stuff too. Bottom line: where Jane went, complaints followed.

"What did you do?" I mouthed, the moment I saw his gold head slipping into the room. He shrugged innocently- an expression that I had learned not to take at face value- but which looked completely genuine this time around.

I had been lost in thought for a few moments, considering Jane, before I realized Hightower had started speaking again. Hurriedly, I tried to catch on to the gist of what she was saying, "-now I've already been through this with Rigsby and Van Pelt," she lectured, "Romantic relationships within any given unit are forbidden by CBI regulations. You either put an end to this immediately, or I will be forced to remove someone from the team." She was staring right at me as she said it.

It took me a moment to process what she was saying. She was back on Van Pelt and Rigsby? But why? They'd broken up five months ago, almost immediately after she had delivered her ultimatum- and had played things pretty professionally since then. Had something happened to make her think that they had gotten back together?

She seemed to be waiting for my answer. I glanced at Jane, hoping that he would read the silent question in my eyes and bail me out, but he seemed as interested in hearing what I had to say as the boss. _Whatever._ I'd just agree to whatever Hightower wanted now, and then get the scoop from the consultant later- even if I had to squeeze it out of him, "Of course, Mrs. Hightower, I understand. I will handle this immediately."

I think she choked. Or Jane did. Something about the mood of the moment shifted, so that I wasn't just faced with an upset boss anymore, but with TWO people who were staring at me, curiously. "What?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable with the blush creeping up my cheeks, "What am I missing here?"

"Lisbon," Jane spoke quietly. The sound of his words were like a dry tingling in my ear, the way it made all the hairs on my neck stand up, "What Hightower is trying to say is… well, she was talking about US dating."

My mind went blank. Devoid of thought, or emotion, I just stood there, with my mouth hanging open. The thing that really woke me up, that seemed to cut through all the non-feeling I was experiencing, was the look on Jane's face. He was fidgeting… like he was nervous saying those words out loud. It was the only time I'd ever seen him looking out of place. Despite myself, my face broke into a grin.

"What's that look?" Hightower demanded, "I'm serious about this, you know." It took all my strength of will not to roll my eyes at her.

"Yes, ma'am. I meant no disrespect. It's just…" I was pulling on my serious face now, "You're reading everything all wrong. I don't know where you got the idea that Jane and I are more than just friends, but I can assure you- this- we don't feel that way… about each-other."

"Agent Lisbon?"

"Yes," A smile still twitched around my lips, now that I was calm enough to really consider the ridiculousness of the situation. Me and Jane? Puh-lease.

"You are a bad liar." _Huh?_

"But I'm not- I'm telling the truth," I stumbled desperately.

Hightower continued to look at me haughtily, like she'd already made up her mind about us, and suddenly I felt all of my resentment for the last six months come bubbling to the surface, "Look, lady! I've worked with you for a while now, and for the most part, I've accepted the fact that you're still breathing down my neck 24-7, but you don't KNOW everything. It's different when you come in here with a legitimate complaint, but now you're… stepping over the line. Back me up Jane!- Jane?"

I whirled on him, knowing that my eyes were probably shooting daggers. But this was Jane- he was probably used to it.

And I guess, _I_ should have been used to the fact that he never _did_ or _said_ what I told him to, "Can I see you in the employee lounge?" he asked.

"What!"

"I just need to talk to you for a moment."

"Now?" I was screeching, "Look, Jane, I don't know what game you're playing, but we've got- to- take- care- of- this." The last few words came out roughly, seeing as Jane was now _dragging me_ out of the room. Just before we got out of sight, I shouted back at Hightower, "I'll be back in a minute to clear this up."

Slam! The door shut behind me, so now it was just me and Jane in the tiny room. I yanked my arm out of his grasp, feeling the beginnings of a pout coming on. Gingerly, he touched my bottom lip, until I snapped it back in place. For some reason, a little thrill went through me at the caress. "Why did you do that?" I whined after a moment, but I think he could tell that the fight had gone out of me.

"Two reasons," he grinned, though if I wasn't mistaken, there was still something a little guarded about the way he looked at me, "Number one- You were going to keep biting Hightower's head off. Not a great idea. And while I'm sure, you could handle her if things got really out of control, I also know that you would regret it later. You don't want to lose your job over this, Lisbon."

Okay, so he was smart. What else was new? "Number two?" I asked, just to get the spotlight off my little outburst.

"Number two…" he sighed, "Lisbon… Do you generally take Hightower to be an unobservant person?"

"No," I said. Well, it was the truth. What I found interesting was that his question lacked all of its usual bite. It was like, for the first time, he was asking me something where he was genuinely uncertain about my answer. He wanted my opinion for… for a different perspective, maybe?

"Yeah, I didn't think so either. She spotted something was up between Van Pelt and Rigsby almost the first day…" He was mumbling to himself now, like he'd just realized something, and wasn't particularly sure how he felt about what he'd just discovered.

It hurt me when he looked this distant. "Hello?" I called, waving my hand in front of his face, trying to draw him back to me, "Earth to Jane."

He grabbed my hand out of the air, and put it over his chest. When he looked at me, his gaze was- searing. I guess that's the only way I can describe it. I felt the breath go out of me.

"Lisbon," he started, then shook his head, as if he was trying to work up the courage to do something, "Teresa- Can you look me in the eyes, and tell me that Hightower was just making stuff up? That we're 'just friends'?"

"Close friends," I admonished, staring straight at… his eyebrow.

"See, you're lying!" he exclaimed, "You're- we're- oh God!" He threw his hands up in the air, "How did I not see this coming? Ever since Red John, I've just been so focused on the case. I never thought that I would- oh… God!" He had turned away from me, and was now frantically pacing the room. I'd never seen him like this before. He was going completely off the handle. I mean, his eyes were wild, he was haphazardly running his hands through his hair, screwing up the golden-colored locks….

I didn't know what else to do. I put my arm on his shoulder to steady him, and at last, he seemed to quiet down, "I'm right here." I said, in my most soothing voice, "I'm right here. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

But instead of answering me, he just responded with another question, "Lisbon… do you _care_ about me?" Something about the way he said "care" made my heart pound in my chest. "Have you ever thought about us… getting together… someday?"

Fear rushed through all the veins in my body, and suddenly I wished, I was anywhere but here, "W-w-why are you asking me that?"

Jane laughed bitterly. It was the sort of laugh that wouldn't have been out of character for a cheesy cartoon villain, and I found myself backing up, towards the wall. "Because, because, because!" he ranted, "Because Hightower can see it. The way I feel about you. The way you feel about me. She saw it better than I could. The rest of the team probably knows…" he trailed off, rubbing the gold band on his ring finger like it was a Jeannie lamp.

"Jane," I cautioned, "I don't _feel_ anything… for you."

But the second the words were out of my mouth, I knew I had made a mistake. It was like I had been swerving around a brick wall for a long time now, and this- this confession- was what finally sent me crashing into it.

Jane's eyes were boring into my face, and I knew that he didn't believe me any more than I believed myself._ So this is how things are, _I gulped, _What have I gotten myself into?_

Suddenly, I felt his arms around my waist, pulling me towards him. When I stumbled, he caught my body against his own, so that I was left staring straight at his lips. I cocked my head, feeling nervous, "Jane? What are you-?"

But his mouth was already crashing down onto mine.

At first, it seemed like he didn't want to be kissing me. He stood straight as a board, face immobile- while my eyes closed, and I let the sensation of having him near, overwhelm me. He smelled spicy, sort of like old-aged wood, and I felt myself getting light-headed trying not to breathe too much of it out.

A few seconds later, and I was finally coming to my senses. He was still stiff beside me, and I realized that if he didn't want this, neither did I. I tried to step back, but it's like the motion startled him into showing some of his true feelings.

Suddenly, his kisses were hot on my mouth, my jaw, my neck. He knotted his hands in my hair, like a promise that he would never let me go. In the heat of the moment, I felt my legs go wobbly, threatening to undercut all of my support from underneath me, so that I ended up clinging to Jane that more desperately. It got to the point that we were so close together, I thought we were going to melt into one person- but then, he pulled away, gasping for air.

I didn't know what to do after we broke apart. Look at him, not look at him? Could I yell at him for kissing me like that? My head was swimming with so many questions- Not to mention, I just finished telling Hightower that there was nothing going on! How was I supposed to handle this?

Almost without realizing it, my eyes sought out Jane's, just like if we were in the middle of a crime-scene. It didn't matter that he was the source of my confusion right now, only that he was the person I turned to when I needed help, when I needed some-one to see through me.

I didn't spot him right away, however. He'd backed away from me, and was now sitting on one of the metal chairs stationed sporadically around the room. There was only one window in here, and the light that filtered through it made disorienting patterns on the wall. He was staring at them intently, as if trying to make sense of their chaos. Which, he might have been.

"Jane?" I called, wishing my voice sounded more sure of itself. Just because a veil of confidence wouldn't fool him, didn't mean that I couldn't _pretend_ it made a difference, "Why'd you do that?"

Okay, so it was a dumb question. He still answered me like I'd asked what the secret of the universe was, "Because we both wanted it to happen."

"_You_ did?" I asked, not quite able to believe him, while his voice echoed years of desperation and sadness.

"I wanted to more than I didn't want to," he amended, with a quirk of his lips.

"Meaning?" For once, I wished he'd just cut the dramatics. I had to know whether or not he'd meant anything by the kiss, or if this was just one of his stupid jokes. Did he want this? Or me? Or was it time I started building up my walls again, because I would NEVER live this down.

"I wanted to kiss you, more than I wanted to listen to that small voice inside my head- The one that reminded me that I had a wife, and daughter, and that I had no right to replace them."

"Oh," Well, that was...

Silence reigned in heavily after that, making the room seem cold and uninhabitable. I felt the first tear fall onto my cheek, but I didn't make a move to wipe it away.

The sad thing was... I didn't know who I was crying for. Myself and the fact that I might be losing Jane forever (he wouldn't want to have anything to do with me, even as friends, if he decided loyalty to his wife was more important)? Or for the woman, who had died, and lost him already?

Finally, I decided this was just too much for me to deal with at the moment. I could tell that Jane was getting ready to speak, and either way, I didn't want to hear it.

I fled the room, running past dozens of people who were staring at me curiously- past Hightower, who had seen Van Pelt run out in similar distress five months ago, and probably thought this meant everything was back on track. I didn't care. All I had to do was get out of the bullpen, turn left, then left again, and it was a straight shot to the elevator.

By the time I got to my car, my hands were shaking. It took me three tries with the key- and then, I only barely managed to get out of my parking space without ramming into the back of Cho's SUV. But finally, I was free.

Racing towards home, I cast one final glance at the building. Even though I hated to admit it, a part of me had expected Jane to come flying out those doors, in a wild attempt to follow me.

And I knew, I'd have let him. Because I was pathetic. And because no matter how many times I'd tried to run away from my feelings for Patrick Jane- he ALWAYS found a way of pulling me back in.

"Not this time," I thought, egging my car to go faster than the disjointed beats of my heart.

**Author's Notes: Okay, well this concludes Part One. The second chapter is already in the works, but, in this case Reviews = Faster updates. Do you like it? Not like it? What did you think?**


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